Ten Years With My Wife

I have been married ten years to Stacie. On Saturday July 30, 2005, we made vows, she took my last name, and we began our journey in life together as a couple in covenant. What a joyful journey this has been! It’s been ten years of

1. Knowing – There is nothing like truly knowing another person and being known by them. In marriage I have had the unfolding experience of getting to know my wife, and she me. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst. She knows me better than anyone else and (praise God!) loves me anyway.

2. Talking – For ten years we have been talking as husband and wife. And we talk about everything. When I’m away, I look forward to coming home and seeing my favorite conversation partner. We are genuinely interested in each other. And even ten years later there are still things I learn about her!

3. Bearing – One great benefit in marriage is the shouldering of burdens together. Weep with the weeping, rejoice with the rejoicing. As a married couple, you don’t know what the future holds, what the challenges will be, what trials and seasons are down the road. But whatever load is down the road, we will bear it together.

4. Laughing – I love my wife’s laugh, and I love to make her laugh–not just a chuckle or brief guffaw but the kind that makes the gut hurt, when you think you can’t catch your breath because the laughter won’t let up. Laughing together is beautiful music in marriage. She’s so quick-witted and funny.

5. Dreaming – For ten years we have been dreaming. We dream of places we want to see, things we want to do, and what life may be like when we’re old. Practically every new milestone in this last decade was preceded by a late-night conversation or over early-morning coffee.

6. Studying – During most of our ten years together, one or both of us have been in school. So many classes taken, books read, papers written. While that season has finally ended, the studying continues, though no longer for course credit. We share a love for learning, as well as a love of sharing what we’re learning!

7. Traveling – There is no one else I’d rather be in a car or on a plane with than Stacie. She makes traveling fun, and over ten years we have had such wonderful travels together. Not all travels have been vacation though. We were married in Texas and lived five years there (2005-2010), but then moved to Louisville, Kentucky for our next five years (2010-2015).

8. Hosting – We love people and having them in our home. I’ve continually appreciated Stacie’s heart of hospitality and open-armed posture toward friends and family. Over our decade together, we have enjoyed the company of family and friends who have stayed days, weeks, or months at a time.

9. Parenting – For six-and-a-half of our ten years, we have been a father and mother. We are married with children–three boys ages 6, 4, and 2. Life is loud and energetic, and we’re tired all the time. Stacie is an incredibly devoted mother. Our boys adore her and are so blessed to have her.

10. Worshiping – I praise God that my wife is a disciple of Jesus Christ. I enjoy being with her at church every week with our family. In addition to being a church member, she is also the pastor’s wife. After the time of singing each week, I leave our pew, walk up the stage steps, and stand behind a pulpit to preach. I love being her husband and also her pastor.

God Will Give You More Than You Can Handle

I’ve heard it for years: “God will never give you more than you can handle.” But does that conventional wisdom stand up to biblical and theological scrutiny? Over at The Gospel Coalition, I’ve written against this popular saying and argue that God does and will give you more than you can handle. An excerpt:

You might not consider overwhelming sufferings to be “light” and “momentary,” but think of your trials in terms of a trillion years from now. In the middle of affliction, sometimes the most difficult thing to hold onto is an eternal vision. Paul isn’t trying to minimize your affliction; he’s trying to maximize your perspective.

Suffering doesn’t get the last line in the script. In this life, God will give you more than you can handle, but the coming weight of glory will be greater than you can imagine.

“Endurance for the Pastor’s Heart”

Over on Dan Dumas’ blog, I’ve written on “Endurance for the Pastor’s Heart.”

An excerpt:

The pastor will have to wage war against his acts of flesh, just as he exhorts his hearers to walk in the Spirit and in the light. He must endure this battle, in season and out of season. He must not justify his sinful failings but repent of them. The pastor should lead the way in obedience, setting an example for the flock (1 Pet. 5:3). He should hold to the gospel more firmly, take holiness more seriously, love God’s word more deeply, and intercede in prayer more fervently—all for the glory of God and the good of his family and church.

This post was the last installment of a three-part series. Parts 1 and 2 can be found here:

“Rest for the Pastor’s Heart”

Over at Dan Dumas’ blog, I’ve written on “Rest for the Pastor’s Heart.”

An excerpt:

Wherever ministers are, there they should be faithful. The growth, the success, comes according to God’s perfect providence and wisdom. The pastor’s goal must be faithfulness, to shepherd the souls in our care as we exhort our flock with God’s Word. Some ministers plant while others water, but only God grants the growth that matters—and the One who gives the growth deserves the glory. God’s glory and the pastor’s rest are not at odds. 

Previously on Dan’s blog, I discussed “Prayer for the Pastor’s Heart.”